A couple days ago my sister in law asked if I could babysit her 3 youngest all day while she went out of town for the day. Several times in our conversation she mentioned this was going to be an all day trip. She dropped them off at 7 AM and left. After lunch the 2 year old started wheezing, the mom had said nothing about asthma so I called her. She said she had been suspecting he had it and has an appointment with his doctor. Later in the afternoon, about 4 o clock she called to check on him, see how he's doing. I asked when she planned to be back, she said they were stopping to get something to eat then doing a bit of shopping then they would be back.
Ok, I thought, that gives them about 3-4 hours so I planned on seeing them at about 7 o'clock. I try to have all my children in bed by then so I thought it would work out well.
By 7 pm I had every one ready for bed, had all the in-laws things gathered up sitting by the door. My sil called about then and said "hey we just finished eating and we're going to shop now and then be on our way home". We live at least an hours drive away from all the big shopping centers. Any restaurants in that area are either super expensive or do not take that long to eat at. I supposed it all depends on how you eat too. I know they are out of work so I didn't think they'd go to an expensive place but who knows?
At about 10 pm they came and got their children.
I know I was very warned that this trip would take all day but oh man, did they have to take half my night too?! I don't babysit this family much anymore, I'll just know for next time, not to say yes on school nights, or if I haven't been getting my sleep.
I used to babysit their older children, every other Saturday night she would call and say how she NEVER gets to go out, could I babysit for a few hours? I didn't have anywhere to go, she played my stupid sympathy card and it worked. My husbands other sister was calling me the other, every other Saturday night, saying the same thing. Meanwhile I didn't have enough $ to grocery shop, let alone just go out. So I said "sure, bring them over". This went on for about 5 weeks, then I started telling them I was already tending someone else's children...
Friday, November 12, 2010
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Why am I babysitting for you?
This is a question I ask myself a lot. Sure we might have been friends in grade school, high school or even since birth. When you ask for free babysitting, do not think that just being exposed to the charm of your child is enough reward, though it can be a sort of reward at times. Laughter is the best medicine you know... When seeking free babysitting, there has to be a trade off.
I have a friend whom I trust with my children though she has no children of her own. When I ask her to babysit she only says yes if she really wants to. Whats her benefit? I have a big house and family, I have accumulated a lot of stuff over the years. She knows, as my close friend, that she is more than welcome to inherit anything in my crafting room. Or my kitchen for that matter. When she wants to do brunch with a couple friends she can come borrow my waffle iron without feeling like she has to invite me, or having to buy a new appliance she would otherwise rarely use. I know its sort of a strange friendship but it works for us.
Another way to look at this question is .<why is my keyboard so noisy? its about to wake up the children!>
Oh, woops! sorry about that.. back to the question.
Often friends and more often relatives ask if I can babysit while they, um, lets say, they're going to a Dr appointment. Something very viable, it is a need, so I feel a bit more obligated to say yes. Well I shouldn't say that, I feel more like its a worthy cause, my time vs your health. Its just what friends and family do, right?
When you drop off your children, your honest Abe 6 year old (most 6 year olds are so-o-o honest) observes that he is going to be bored without his stuff cuz he has to stay here ALL day, clear until 7 tonight. That you have a lot of shopping to do before his grandpas birthday next week. Huh? When you asked you said that you were going to the Dr for a checkup, that it won't take longer than 1 hour, 2 at most.
So what's really up? At first I pass it off as children saying whatever comes into their minds. Then the time passes, indeed, he IS bored. The projects I prepared for the possible 2 hour stay are long finished, its been 3 hours. Where are you?
There are now 2 headless dolls in the playroom, your son was WAY too bored, and it was great fun to torment my 7 year old girls, oh boy they can scream!
I call your cell phone, you answer stating you are so sorry and you are on your way right now, got held up in the Dr's office, he had an emergency! I think "Oh great, there are only so many dolls left, good thing your Dr's office is only a 10 minute drive from here". Right? WRONG!
One thing after another you say things came up, and indeed, you get back at 7 o'clock...
You call and ask if I'll send your children out because your ankle was twisted while rushing through the pharmacy.
So I gather up their things, take them by the hand and walk out to your mini van. There are lots of shopping bags in the backseat, I silently observe your newly pedicured foot taping to the lively beat playing in your van.
You say "Oh, you shouldn't have, he could have made it out here by himself" smiling so big, sickly sweet, and nervously.
So tell my, why am I babysitting for you? If you can't be honest with me, why would you trust me with your precious children? We did have a good day, after you'd been gone the 3 hours past I realized he must have overheard your 'strategic' planning and I was glad he told me. It made so I could plan better constructive activities.
But I will miss him. I hope he is still the same sweet honest, doll breaking boy when I consent to babysit for you again, in a year. It always takes me that long to forget how this day went.
Have a happy life dear! See you at Grandpa's Birthday Bash! What? Oh no, don't worry about sending an invite, your son already invited me!
I have a friend whom I trust with my children though she has no children of her own. When I ask her to babysit she only says yes if she really wants to. Whats her benefit? I have a big house and family, I have accumulated a lot of stuff over the years. She knows, as my close friend, that she is more than welcome to inherit anything in my crafting room. Or my kitchen for that matter. When she wants to do brunch with a couple friends she can come borrow my waffle iron without feeling like she has to invite me, or having to buy a new appliance she would otherwise rarely use. I know its sort of a strange friendship but it works for us.
Another way to look at this question is .<why is my keyboard so noisy? its about to wake up the children!>
Oh, woops! sorry about that.. back to the question.
Often friends and more often relatives ask if I can babysit while they, um, lets say, they're going to a Dr appointment. Something very viable, it is a need, so I feel a bit more obligated to say yes. Well I shouldn't say that, I feel more like its a worthy cause, my time vs your health. Its just what friends and family do, right?
When you drop off your children, your honest Abe 6 year old (most 6 year olds are so-o-o honest) observes that he is going to be bored without his stuff cuz he has to stay here ALL day, clear until 7 tonight. That you have a lot of shopping to do before his grandpas birthday next week. Huh? When you asked you said that you were going to the Dr for a checkup, that it won't take longer than 1 hour, 2 at most.
So what's really up? At first I pass it off as children saying whatever comes into their minds. Then the time passes, indeed, he IS bored. The projects I prepared for the possible 2 hour stay are long finished, its been 3 hours. Where are you?
There are now 2 headless dolls in the playroom, your son was WAY too bored, and it was great fun to torment my 7 year old girls, oh boy they can scream!
I call your cell phone, you answer stating you are so sorry and you are on your way right now, got held up in the Dr's office, he had an emergency! I think "Oh great, there are only so many dolls left, good thing your Dr's office is only a 10 minute drive from here". Right? WRONG!
One thing after another you say things came up, and indeed, you get back at 7 o'clock...
You call and ask if I'll send your children out because your ankle was twisted while rushing through the pharmacy.
So I gather up their things, take them by the hand and walk out to your mini van. There are lots of shopping bags in the backseat, I silently observe your newly pedicured foot taping to the lively beat playing in your van.
You say "Oh, you shouldn't have, he could have made it out here by himself" smiling so big, sickly sweet, and nervously.
So tell my, why am I babysitting for you? If you can't be honest with me, why would you trust me with your precious children? We did have a good day, after you'd been gone the 3 hours past I realized he must have overheard your 'strategic' planning and I was glad he told me. It made so I could plan better constructive activities.
But I will miss him. I hope he is still the same sweet honest, doll breaking boy when I consent to babysit for you again, in a year. It always takes me that long to forget how this day went.
Have a happy life dear! See you at Grandpa's Birthday Bash! What? Oh no, don't worry about sending an invite, your son already invited me!
Pros and cons of babysitting
This is a list of things I wish, being the babysitter, or being the mom who needs her children tended (see below) Hope you'll never do (you being the other person).
As a babysitter I hope:
1. You will never be more than 30 minutes late picking up your children.
2. You will appreciate the service being done for you. Some token is fine. I really don't care what at this point. texting "TY" as you drive away is not gratitude.
3. You will never bring your children to drop off more than 15 minutes before you say you will. "I'm going out at 8:30 doesn't mean drop them off at 6 so you can get ready to go.
4. That just because I'm being paid for staying home with someone else's children doesn't make you feel obligated to leave yours with me too whenever you have
As a babysitter I hope:
1. You will never be more than 30 minutes late picking up your children.
2. You will appreciate the service being done for you. Some token is fine. I really don't care what at this point. texting "TY" as you drive away is not gratitude.
3. You will never bring your children to drop off more than 15 minutes before you say you will. "I'm going out at 8:30 doesn't mean drop them off at 6 so you can get ready to go.
4. That just because I'm being paid for staying home with someone else's children doesn't make you feel obligated to leave yours with me too whenever you have
"CABIN FEVER"
5. I hope you will respect me when I tell you I'm busy and can't tend today. Don't nag me. There are 100's of people you can ask. Don't guilt me into doing something for you. I have a hard enough time letting you down easy, don't make me get blunt.
As a Mom I hope:
1. You will never hand my children off to another babysitter without consulting me first.
2. You will never take our your ire for me out on my children.
3. You let me know if my children or I have done something wrong. Don't just dis me. None of us are perfect, least of all children. Or moms.
4. When you care for my children you will be FAIR, as in between all the children you are tending. Automatically taking your child's word without listening to both sides of the story is bad karma. See, now we don't come to your house, and we always say no when you ask to come to ours. (more on this story later).
5. You moms who actually have a paying JOB don't think that I have nothing to do all day, keep all that sympathy for yourself.
5. I hope you will respect me when I tell you I'm busy and can't tend today. Don't nag me. There are 100's of people you can ask. Don't guilt me into doing something for you. I have a hard enough time letting you down easy, don't make me get blunt.
As a Mom I hope:
1. You will never hand my children off to another babysitter without consulting me first.
2. You will never take our your ire for me out on my children.
3. You let me know if my children or I have done something wrong. Don't just dis me. None of us are perfect, least of all children. Or moms.
4. When you care for my children you will be FAIR, as in between all the children you are tending. Automatically taking your child's word without listening to both sides of the story is bad karma. See, now we don't come to your house, and we always say no when you ask to come to ours. (more on this story later).
5. You moms who actually have a paying JOB don't think that I have nothing to do all day, keep all that sympathy for yourself.
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